Li Shang argues with Master Shifu
At King Li Shang's castle, as the sun began to set in the mountains over the horizon, Shang was standing at the window looking outside, patiently waiting for his adoptive daughter to show. Shifu was also with him, but he was busy eating. Shang then watched the sun sets down. He was glad that the seventeen years are almost over, and, supposedly, Messina's curse had failed, but he wondered where his daughter was. It had been seventeen years, and he might have forgotten what she looks like now. Shifu, however, didn't seem to notice the sad expression of Shang. Shang sadly sighed and said, "No sign of her yet, Shifu." "Course not. Good half hour 'till sunset." said Shifu, as he took a bite out of a chicken leg. "Ah, excellent bird!" said Shifu. Then he looked at Shang and, this time, noticed his sad expression. "Oh now, come on, buck up, battle's over, girl's as good as here." said Shifu, trying to cheer his friend up. Shang shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, Shifu, but after seventeen years of worrying, never knowing..." "The past, all in the past!" said Shifu. And he clapped his hands. A panda ran into the dining hall with a bottle of wine, holding a lute (a guitar-like musical instrument). The panda was an obese one with black and white fur, green eyes, a black nose, and brown markings around his eyes, wearing a pair of patched-up burlap shorts with Shaolin wraps around his ankles, a striped red-and-gold strap around his waist, and sandal-like shoes. His name was Po, Shifu's student and lackey. "Tonight, we toast to future with something I've been saving for seventeen years." said Shifu. He poured two glasses, one for himself and one for Shang. Yet, he was unaware that Po managed to pour some whine into his own glass without him noticing. "Here, to the future!" said Shifu. Shang finally smiled and said, "Right, Shifu, to the future!" Then they began to sing their own song. Shifu: Skumps! Shang: Skumps! Shifu: A toast to this night Shang: The outlook is rosy Shifu: The future is bright Shang and Shifu: Our children will marry Our kingdoms unite Skumps! Skumps! Skumps! Both of them laughed to themselves a bit until Shifu spoke. "Ah, excellent vintage." he laughed. Po hiccuped. "And now, to the new home, ey?" said Shifu. As he heard this Shang became confused and surprised when he heard "new home." "New home?" asked Shang. "Children need a nest of their own, what? Place to raise their little brood, ey?" said Shifu. "Well, I suppose, in time." said Shang. "Of course. To the home!" said Shifu, as he poured more wine into their glasses and, once again, Po snuck some more wine for himself. Then the Chinese man and red panda sang once more. Shifu: Skumps! Shang: Skumps! Shifu: A toast to the home Shang: One grander by far Than a palace in Rome Shifu noticed then that Shang's glass was all foam and gave him a refill of wine. "Let me fill up your glass," he said. "This glass was all foam." Shang and Shifu: Skumps Skumps Skumps! After they sang, Po began playing the lute, but in a very drunk way after sneaking some wine for himself. "The plans!" said Shifu, clapping his hands. Po ran up to Shang and held a plan a plan to a castle in front of his face while still drunk and hiccupped. "Well, what do you think? Nothing elaborate, of course. Forty bedrooms, Dining hall, Honeymoon cottage, really." said Shifu. Shang was startled when he heard the word "honeymoon." He was very surprised indeed. "You-You mean, you're building it already?" asked Shang. "Built, man! Finished. The love-birds can move in tomorrow." said Shifu. "Tomorrow? But Shifu, they're not even married yet!" said Shang. "Take care of that tonight. To the wedding!" said Shifu, as he went to pour a glass of wine. But Shang stopped him, and while stopping, he put the bottle of wine away as Po began pouring some, this time into his lute. "Now hold on, Shifu. I haven't even seen my daughter yet, and you're taking her away from me." said Shang. "Getting my Crane, aren't you?" asked Shifu. Shang said, "Yes, but ..." "Want to see your grandchildren, don't we?" asked Shifu. Shang began, "Of course, but ..." "There's no time to lose! Getting on in 1 more year. To the wedding!" said Shifu, as he poured a glass of wine for himself. "Now be reasonable, Shifu. After all, Viper knows nothing about this." said Shang. "Well?" asked Shifu, as he drank his cup of wine. "Well, it-it may come as quite a shock." said Shang. As he heard this, Shifu spat out his wine and faced Shang angrily. "Shock? My Crane a shock? What's wrong with my Crane?" demanded Shifu, pounding his glass twice on the table. He angrily stormed towards Shang. "Nothing, Shifu," said Shang, trying to back away from him and calm him down, "I only meant..." "Why, doesn't your daughter like my pupil?" demanded Shifu, pounding the bottle of wine on the table once. "Now, now... " said Shang. "Well, I'm not so sure my pupil likes your daughter!" said Shifu, head butting into Shang's stomach. Then Shang was offended when he mentioned his daughter, and it was his turn to be angry and stormed towards Shifu. Shang scolded, "Now see here..." "I'm not so sure my pupil's children will want YOU for a grandfather!" said Shifu, head butting Shang once more. Shang was enraged as he straightened his ponytail. "Why, you-you unreasonable, pompous, blustering, OLD WINDBAG!" he shouted. Shifu was offended when he heard the words. He grabbed a nearby fish by mistake, thinking it was a sword, and got into a fighting position as he said, "Unreasonable, pompous...En garde, sir!" "I warned you, Shifu, this means war!" said Shang, as he also got into a fighting position. Then they started to fight, tussling around at each other. As Shifu started to charge at him, Shang grabbed a serving tray and placed it in front of him as Shifu swung the fish at the tray, shouting, "Forward! For honor! For country!" Realizing he was fighting with a fish, Shifu knew he was using it as a sword while Shang was using the tray as a shield. Both of them looked at the fish and tray, then at each other, and then they started laughing. "What's this all about anyway?" laughed Shifu. "Nothing, Shifu. Absolutely nothing." laughed Shang. "The children are bound to fall in love with each other." said Shifu. "Precisely. And as for grandchildren, I'll have the royal woodcarvers start work on the crib tomorrow." said Shang. "Splendid! King size, of course." said Shifu. "Certainly. To the woodcaver's guild!" said Shang. And they were about to make another toast until they heard an odd and strange sound. And what appears to sound like horrible snoring. Following their ears, they soon noticed the sounds coming from under the table. They raised the tablesheets and looked under to find Po passed out and sleeping with his head inside the lute. Suddenly, Shang and Shifu heard the trumpets sound, and they heard Wally announce, "His royal highness, Prince Crane!" Then they heard animals and people cheering for him. "Crane?" said Shifu, as he ran to run outside to meet him. Before the castle, Lenny came swimming in, carrying Crane on his back. As more people and animals cheered for him, Crane got off of Lenny, and Shifu has just arrived outside to meet him. "Crane! Crane! Crane! Hold, Crane!" yelled Shifu. Crane heard his teacher and walked over to him. Then Shifu ran over to him. "Hurry, boy, hurry, and change in something suitable. Can't meet your future bride looking like that?" said Shifu. "Well, I have met her, Master Shifu." said Crane happily. "You have? Where?" said Shifu, who seemed surprised. "Once upon a dream." said Crane. Then he started to sing and dance around his teacher. "Crane, knock it off. Stop that. Stop that right now. Crane, stop! Put me down!" said Shifu. Then Crane stopped singing and dancing and put his teacher down. "Now, what's all this dream nonsense?" asked Shifu. "It wasn't a dream, Master Shifu. I really did meet her." said Crane. "Princess Viper? Good heavens, we must tell Shang! Why this is the most ..." said Shifu. "Whoa, whoa, I didn't say it was Viper." said Crane. "You most certainly did, you said..." said Shang. "I said I met the girl I was going to marry. I don't know who she was, a...snake I suppose." said Crane. Then his teacher seemed very shocked with his eyes widened. "A snake? You're going to marry a...Why Crane, you're joking!" said Shifu, as he hoped for a yes. But Crane shook his head no. "Isn't he?" Shifu asked Lenny. "Unfortunately, no." Lenny said honestly. "You can't do this to me! Give up the throne, the kingdom, for some...some nobody? By Harry, I won't have it!" Shifu bellowed to Crane. "You're a prince, and you're going to marry a princess!" Crane tried to calm Shifu, saying, "Now Master Shifu, you're living in the past. This is the fourteenth century. Nowadays ... " "Nowadays, I'm still the king!" Shifu began, "And I command you to come to your senses..." "...And marry the girl I love." Crane finished. "Exactly!" said Shifu. "Goodbye, Master Shifu!" said Crane, as he got back on top of Lenny, and Lenny swam off. "Goodbye, Master Shifu! Marry the girl you ... No, no, Crane, stop. Come back. Wait Crane!" called Shifu, "CRANE!" But it was too late. Crane had already gone off into the wilderness to see his love, but he was unaware that she wouldn't be there anymore. Shifu sadly walked up to the stairs of the castle and sat down. He sadly sighed and said, "Oh, how will I ever tell Shang?" Category:Fan Fiction Category:Sleeping Beauty Movies-Spoofs Category:Sleeping Beauty Parodies Category:Sleeping Beauty spoofs Category:Songs Category:Conflicts